My Town

I live in a place called Chesterville, Ohio. You probably shouldn’t ever come here. No, seriously.

I was born here. Most people die here. Mostly because they’re really old. And old people die. If I have to explain the science of old people dying, then you won’t get far in this blog. So just google it or something.

Anyway, Chesterville is full of haunted places and evil supernatural beings. In my 22 years living here, I’ve seen a lot of terrifying things. I mean, I wasn’t scared by it, but my friends were totally pissing their pants and crying like little girls.

See, this is a really small town and we’re pretty poor, so there’s nothing to do in an extremely haunted town except go investigating the extreme hauntedness.

Me and my friends have been going on investigations since we were kids. I’ve decided not to give out my name for safety reasons. You can’t be too careful. There are a lot of crazy people out there. So anyway, Mark Riley and Ryan Moore, my friends, are with me on every investigation. And recently they convinced me to start a blog about the terror that is Chesterville, Ohio.

Here’s how the conversation went:

Mark: Dude, you should totally start a blog about all the awesome investigations that you lead us on.

Me: No way, man. Then how would I make time for my 1,000 push-ups per day? And stop admiring my muscles, Ryan.

Ryan: I can’t help it. They draw my eyes like a perfect sculpture of a Greek god. But, I agree with Mark. Your superior skills with words would make the greatest blog ever.

Me: Well, I are good with words…

Mark and Ryan: (Raucous laughter) You’re so hilarious and also funny, (name removed).

Me: Okay, I’ll start chronicling my amazing adventures that you two accompany me on.

So, over the coming months and years, I’ll keep you updated on our many death-defying and heroic adventures.


3 thoughts on “My Town

  1. That’s not at all how that conversation went. You told us we were going to start a blog. We said that sounded really lame. And then you started throwing potato chips at us until we said we’d subscribe to it.

  2. Also, I don’t admire your muscles. And I would never call you a Greek god. I advised against you starting a blog because the thought of you putting any of your personal thoughts out to the general public terrifies me.

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